| Just cause you feel it, doesn't mean it's there... |
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| 04:04pm 14/07/2003 |
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I hate it when people update a lot in one day. But the reason for the [now] multiple entries is that I don't have a computer at home [as i stated earlier probably], so while I'm checking my mail, I thought to fill out a silly survey cuz they're oh so summer boredom.
[stolen from olivia]
10 things i love
10_Smoothies.
09_My pink collared shirt.
08_My friends.
07_Adrienne's ring...or should I say MY ring.
06_Designing clothes.
05_Pouty lips.
04_The Roxy.
03_The Stare. <3
02_My bed.
01_Possibilites.
09 things i hate
09_WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs
08_Everyone in photo except for Mindy, Olivia, Kristin, Ryan, Jon, Colby, Cambria, Tamal, and Molly.
07_My life. [so blunt I am]
06_The death of Seymour. :( I have to replace him soon...Petco trip? Anyone?
05_Any drug other than heroin.
04_Sluts. Not sleazes...but sluts.
03_Local bands.
02_People with really big smiles...especially when they're gums show. ew.
01_Bikes. haha.
08 things i miss
08_My innocence.
07_Telling the truth.
06_Samantha Smith and Roya Waltman
05_TMS boys.
04_My grandma.
03_Santa Monica.
02_Being active at school.
01_Smoking...sometimes.
07 things i can't live without
07_Food.
06_Espresso.
05_My friends.
04_Taxi.
03_Mirrors...wow that sounded vain..but really, imagine a life w/o a mirror.
02_My family.
01_Nail polish.
06 things I want to do eventually
06_Get the Stare up and running.
05_Get away from HB.
04_Own an all white studio with large windows.
03_Get married and have attractive children.
02_Become a psychiatrist specializing in drug addictions.
01_Try heroin.
05 songs i will never get sick of
05_Rapture-Blondie
04_La la love you-The Pixies
03_Walk on the Wild Side-Velvet Underground
02_Green Plastic Trees-Radiohead
01_Specialist-Interpol
04 words that describe me
04_blunt
03_witty
02_giggly
01_jealous
03 things i want to change
03_My procrastination.
02_My jealously.
01_The world. All of it.
02 people i admire / adore
02_Robert Kennedy.
01_James Dean.
01 thing i cherish
01_Contentness...is that a word. Aww hell, it is now.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| la la la. |
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| 09:20pm 06/07/2003 |
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Below is the "BIO" page of Ale's Site. I have yet to give it to Brett to put it on the site, cuz I haven't talked to Brett yet and I still don't have his pictures scanned. But I wanted my lj friends to see it and if you like what you see [or if you think he's a complete italian loser, which is some days] please tell me so I can send you a demo.
Vital Stats
Full Name: Alessandro Nunzio Randazzo
Birthday: The 8th of October 1986
Birth Place: Brooklyn, NY
Musical Influences: Bob Dylan, Blues, and Country
Favorites
Favorite color: “Brown. I love the color brown so much.”
Favorite ice cream flavor: “Vanilla with vanilla beans, I like the real stuff.”
Favorite T.V. show: Simpsons. I also really like the History Channel…a lot.
Favorite Venue: Mrs. Vander Burgh’s first period poetry slam, in which I won.
Favorite city: San Francisco.
Favorite food: Belgium waffles.
Brief Interview by Gypsy
How did you start playing folk music?
“I was in a band and the creative limits were too restricting. I got very depressed so I bought a $10 guitar at the swap meet and a tape recorder and messed around for a couple weeks. After my lost weeks playing and recording I found the song “Modesto” on the tape and fell in love with a new type of sound I had created or stole.”
How did you come up with your song titles?
“Basically I analyze the song and try to find hidden meaning then I give up and make up some ridiculous title.”
Did you ever actually go to Modesto?
“I passed through here on my way to San Francisco. I like the city’s name because it sounded Western and reminded me of American Graffiti.”
If you were an animal what would you be?
“Pigeon…I’m dirty.”
Deserted island, three things?
“1. Angelina Jolie. 2. Ok Computer [vinyl]. 3. A raft--oh oh, but make sure it isn’t discovered till after I have my way with Angelina Jolie.”
One wish in life, what would it be?
“Not watch any friends or family die.”
What are your plans for the future?
“Get married and own a house.”
What is happiness?
“Being a grandma with a warm gun.”
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| 07:21pm 06/07/2003 |
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I have a new livejournal.
Please add me: such_a_conquest
It's not completey ready yet due to the fact that I still need to scan an original photo of mine for the background, but it's friends only, so you might as well add me now.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| Living in danger and sleeping with strangers... |
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| 01:20pm 25/06/2003 |
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Well I'll be dying at 24. See, see, you don't believe in God...he/she comes back for you. Ah well. Since I'm dying so young, drugs, booze, sex anyone? Might as well live it up eh?
I have never been a fan of weather really. People keep talking about how "beautiful" today is. I don't really see sunshine as beautiful. There's probably something wrong with me.
Photo was lovely today. I got in the most awkward places and suffered conditions to get some wonderful shots. Ex. I climbed these HUGE tires and crept behind them while M squared took pictures and then I layed on top of Molly's 20348029384039 degree car. Practically burned my skin off. But I love that class and I love the people in there. Like yesterday Cambria and I talked about clothes and movies for an extensive time. We made fun of those velour/terry jumpsuits and said how amazing Donnie Darko and Zoolander are. Oh how I adore her. And of course M squared [Molly and Mindy] are always fun and we enjoy taking "sleazy" pictures.
all.my.affection.
christina t.
post script.
This is the last Public entry. Yes, yes, I know, I know, I have always been a firm believer against Friends Only. But I figure my lj friends are the only people who comment on my lj yet I KNOW tons of other people read it even though they don't comment. I'll probably post the occasional entry with pictures public or something, it's just I don't want to feel censored anymore. |
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| You do it to yourself, just you... |
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| 08:27pm 22/06/2003 |
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Today I spent my day reincarnating my love for old c.d.s. I went through my sister's music from when she was my age and had a lovely day reading and listening to Depeche Mode, The Police, and Pet Shop Boys. I think I have found a balance between being alone and being involved. I find myself alone a lot recently, in activity and in silence. And it really is such a comfort to be completey free of thought. I'm going to start meditating again and try to completey clear my mind. Keefer and I talked about this before, she has only once been able to completey clear her mind. I wish to accomplish such an achievement soon. I'm very wrapped up in the books I'm reading. Everything from romantic comedies to Salinger to some Woody Allen. I really do appreciate the company of others. When I'm with you, I really do enjoy you. I'd like you to know that because I know I can be very unappreciative of my friends, and I don't mean to. The ideals of society and an oppressed adolescent's perceptions of these ideals seem to come out in the things I say and do, and I don't want my words or actions to come off sincere. I hope I can keep this new found balance for a while. I really really hope I can. Because instability scares me oh so much. I have been looking through my sister's psychiatry books and the more I know about disorders, the more I think I have them all. Sometimes my own thoughts seem to scare me the most. Which is why I'm making a conscious decision to deflate these thoughts.
all.my.affection.
christina t.
post script.
Rachel is coming over soon to watch Radiohead $2 Bill. I can't stop smiling. |
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| Love...love will tear us apart... |
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| 06:09pm 21/06/2003 |
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mood:  blah music: joy division
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I got a digital camera.
It's not that great granted my parents got it for free at some conference.
But hell, it's still amusing.
My dad gave me his old camera.
So I'm using it for photo.
I like it better than my digital.
But I sort of already broke it.
Oops.
Yesterday I had a lovely day.
Lauren O. and I went to Savers, K-mart, Taco Bell, and the park.
We both got some splendid things.
And had wonderful conversations.
And sang the pixies.
And swung on swings.
The day before yesterday was nice as well.
You can see mindy's livejournal for pictures and details.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/play_tragic
all.my.affection.
christina t.
post script.
poder and I realized something cool about our band:
m.pod
c.taj
l.kee
l.one
s.smi
All [well sam's sounds sketchy] sound really net with the inital of the first name and the first three letters of the last. ::clears throat:: I mean we pay attention in photo... |
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| You'll be selling lemonade to the over paid... |
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| 12:31pm 20/06/2003 |
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Ale called me last night and we talked for a few hours. He's in New York and was telling me all about it. We kept getting giddy and exclaiming how I should be there right now instead of here. He told me to prostitute my body for a few days to get money for a ticket and visit him. I think I will.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| schmeh. |
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| 05:11pm 18/06/2003 |
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| anywherebuthb | | Magic Number | 5 | | Job | Writer | | Personality | Vicarious | | Temperament | Sweet Natured | | Sexual | If I Have To | | Likely To Win | A Free Coke | | Me - In A Word | Ditsy | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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Sweet Natured? haha.
I'm having a bad day.
But the Stills came out with their ep...so ::half smile::
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| I am too cold for you... |
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| 05:16pm 17/06/2003 |
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Good News:
*Got Coachella pictures back
Bad News:
*Most of the coachella pictures did not turn out because I, being the complete idiot I am, didn't have a great camera
Good News:
*I'm taking photo in summer school and I think it will be fun because I made more friends and have Poder
Bad News:
*I have to wake up at 6:30
Good News:
*I'm in the mood to hang out with friends
Bad News:
*No one calls me haha I'm not in complete exile kids!
all.my.affection.
christina t.
post script.
I got a haircut. The new user pic is it. |
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| bye bye love... |
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| 10:27am 15/06/2003 |
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When I grow up I have decided I'm going to become a psychiatrist specializing in drug addictions. When you have all ruined your lives on cocaine and heroin, I'll help you get things back together. Of course, I'll have to "confiscate" the drugs...but trust me, it will be in your own benefit.
all.my.affection.
christina t.
post script.
oh i'm sorry this is a very unusal entry...here's a typical summer entry:
monday
blah blah got drunk blah blah blah
tuesday
blah blah hung out with so and so blah blah blah
wednesday
blah blah I love penis blah blah blah
People are silly. Some [emphasis on the word some] entries get worst in the summer to read. |
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| mr. you're on fire mr.... |
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| 10:14am 08/06/2003 |
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I'm a studying machine!
Well sort of.
When I actually sit down.
Turn down my music.
I actually learn stuff.
Well there's still a lot to learn.
My house is a zoo.
We have construction workers in here like it's nobody's business.
They bring their families.
I practiced Spanish with one of their three year old daughters.
Her name was Angela.
She dyed her hair auburn.
She's three.
My parents are going to buy me a new tv.
It's silver with a dvd player and vcr.
It's 24 inches.
My favorite number.
I think my mom and I are throwing my sister a surprise party.
A bunch of medical students in our house.
I can invite friends.
So it will be a bunch of medical students in the living room discussing arteries.
And a bunch of juvenile delinquents in my room discussing sex and drugs and rockn'roll.
I love Lauren O. and Mindy P.
That is all for today.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| momentary break from nervousness. |
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| 09:25pm 05/06/2003 |
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I took a quiz [which i got from counting down] about what cities you belong in or something. Here's my list:
1.Manhattan, New York
2.Rochester, New York
3.Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
4.Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5.Lexington, Kentucky
6.Columbus, Ohio
7.New York City, New York
8.Long Island, New York
9.Carlisle, Pennsylvania
10.Altoona, Pennsylvania
11.Indianapolis, Indiana
12.Minneapolis-St Paul, Minnesota
13.Toledo, Ohio
14.Nashville, Tennessee
15.Erie, Pennsylvania
16.Detroit, Michigan
17.Louisville, Kentucky
18.Richmond, Virginia
19.Syracuse, New York
20.Buffalo, New York
21.Reading, Pennsylvania
22.Lancaster, Pennsylvania
23.Manchester, New Hampshire
24.Nashua, New Hampshire
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| it's killing us kids... |
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| 09:22pm 04/06/2003 |
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mood:  stressed music: carbonation-enon
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Ten things that make me smile:
10. Talbert kids
9. espresso
8. paul banks
7. collages
6. toes
5. dasani water
4. mindy poder
3. haircuts
2. collared shirts
1. p.e.
Nine things that make me mad:
9. No Beck for me this summer. :(
8. Flakes
7. Narcissim
6. Egos
5. Finals
4. SAT
3. Humans
2. Birds
1. Enon playing on Friday @ the hob...me not going cuz of finals!
Eight things I couldn't live without:
8. Espresso
7. Honeydew
6. Good people
5. Taxi
4. My parents
3. Maria Andersson
2. My livejournal
1. My bed
Seven people I am thankful for:
7. Caitlin
6. Michelle
5. RYAN FIELD <3 <3
4. Rachel
3. Lara
2. Sierra
1. Mindy
Six things I want to accomplish before I die:
6. Actually decide on names for my childrens because I already have too many ideas.
5. Get the Stare up and running.
4. Make Ale rich and famous...thus making me rich and famous
3. Live in an all white studio with big windows
2. Get over my fear of small confined places
1. Fly.
Five things I am wearing right now:
5. Argoyl socks
4. Black yoga pants
3. Black polo like shirt
2. Bra
1. Underwear
Four things I want to do today:
4. Spanish oral...more like have to
3. Fix my nails
2. Have a dance party in my room...alone
1. Take a shower...ah yes the simple things.
Three things on my mind:
3. Spanish project.
2. my new bag.
1. Finals.
Two things I wish I had:
2. Independence.
1. Morals.
One thing I love:
1. Meditating.
So basically I'm like this neurotic 5'3 form of human right now cuz of finals and all the other worries I--well--worry about. I've been sleeping for only a few hours every night and am really quiet and can only think about coffee. I'm turning into a Requiem for a Dream character...just replace the drugs with espresso. I just spent the last two hours @ www.karmaloop.com and listened to enon and had a few shots of espresso, so I'm feeling a little better. But I just wanted to fill out another survey...because they make me smile.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| shakedown... |
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| 10:00pm 31/05/2003 |
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mood:  content music: house of jealous lovers-the rapture
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Today was a wonderful day.
I woke up early in the morning [8 a.m.] and woke up the lovely Mindy Poder and we went to the beach [gasp]. We did a beach clean up which basically was us picking up cigarette butts for two hours because it was national no tobacco day. I ended up filling my bag up quick cuz i kept picking up 20 oz beer cans. Mindy and I had wonderful discussions under the pier. <3 A couple other kids were there and we would take many breaks and just sit on the sand.
Then Poder and I got jambas [yumm] and came back to the pier and asked if we could help with the no cigarrette fair thing to get our full community service credit for the year. So we end up asking people if they wanted to fill out surveys. I felt like one of those jesus freaks on the pier with the god-awful pictures of "supposed abortion" and stuff. Anyway, we surveyed people, people such as Debi [last name here cuz i don't remember it]. Debi is the lady from those anti-smoking commercials that has the hole in her neck. She really does sound and look the way she does in the commercials. It kinda shook me up.
Then some horrible bands played. Good lord. Horrible. I mean, bleh, just horrible. I referred to them as "all american rejects rejects." It was a definte comedic high.
Then we walked around the fair and got free stuff like these tiny nifty radios. They're the shit. Mindy and I are gonna become secret agents for this organization! All we have to do is walk in a store and see if they'll let us buy cigarettes...$5 a store, 20 stores a day...you do the math kid.
In the afternoon I came home and walked around my neighborhood peacefully listening to my new cool portable radio. And then I picked up Mindy again and we went to CPK's @ Fashion Island for dinner. Company: Megan Gorey, Christopher Bumcrot [long time no see], and Michelle Tran. It was quite a random group but a good one. Megan wanted the waiter, she couldn't stop talking about how hot the waiter was. We laughed a lot and made Christopher feel awkward--it's what we do best.
And now I'm home alone and have been for the past couple hours and am loving it. Sure I have tons of stuff to do and tons of upcoming events to worry about, but hell, all I can think about right now is sitting here, drinking water, watching good will hunting, and talking to mindy on aim. Oh greatest thing of the night:
Nicole is amazing. The girl made like four or five different pictures like that. She's so clever and I love her.
Overall, a serene wonderful day spent with a serene and wonderful girl [poder].
all.my.affection.
christina t.
post script.
I made a new friendster:
first name: jamba
last name: juice
Friendster of the century kids. |
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| silly. |
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| 08:45pm 30/05/2003 |
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top five places of the moment...
1. house of blues [anaheim]
2. my bedroom
3. my neighborhood
4. Lauren Keefer's house...it's just always so comfortable
5. the shower
top five bands/groups/artists of the moment...
1. interpol
2. the rapture
3. the sounds
4. the stills
4.5 cat power
4.6 the libertines
5. idlewild
what? I’m indecisive.
top five people of the moment...
1. Schmindy
2. Nicole
3. Sierra/Yvonne [I’m counting them as a unit.]
4. Natalie Chernus
5. Jon Kelsey
last cigarette: couple months ago
last car ride: about an hour ago…and I drove.
last good cry: Monday.
last book read: The Metamorphosis
last cuss word uttered: fuck
last beverage drank: smoothie.
last phone call: Lauren O.
last shoes worn: mary janes
last cd played: mix made by michelle
last item bought: book [Profiles in Courage]
last annoyance: not being able to see the pattern L
last disappointed: darling, I’m always disappointed
last key used: the one to the camry
last word spoken: “I can’t see you” to my sister [it’s dark in this room]
last sleep: woke up around 7 today, went to bed around 1…so like 6 hours.
last time amused: Sierra’s im.
last time hugged: Mindy or Jacquelyn
last time resentful: My entire existence is a resentment.
last shirt worn: pink collared shirt under black v-neck sweater
last time dancing: I am always dancing…no really…I dance around at school in front of large groups of “waiting to pounce/judge” adolescene…I dance in the hallway of my house…I dance in the car…I’m a dancing machine. Wow I’m weird.
last show attended: Coachella…aw yea.
last webpage visited: www.melodynelson.com
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| we've been talking on the phone for hours and hours... |
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| 05:56pm 29/05/2003 |
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mood:  lethargic music: 7 days a week- the sounds
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I just got the new Rolling Stone today...
With the exception of like two article...
All I have to say is...
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| If you're frustrated then go... |
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| 04:49pm 28/05/2003 |
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Instead of typing up the journal entry I wrote last night...
Or telling you about cute DMV boy which I idiotically did not do anything about...
Or describing my complex emotional turmoil...
This entire entry shall be dedicated to MISS MEGAN JOYCE GOREY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY x 30472390472938742983!!!!
This girl is incredible. Infuckingcredible. She took me out on a date to Basilicios and even paid for me. She says she's obsessed with me and basically can cheer me up anytime I'm even remotely down. She and I have lots of things in common: similar taste in music [pattern? saturday?], feel uncomfortable around people we don't know, are members of the GGG, and share a love for the 80s. Megan is the type of person you'd be lucky to be friends with. She doesn't show up at school very much but when she does she makes that day better. I love you her oh so very much and hope she has a day just as wonderful as she is.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| the cat. |
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| 04:05pm 26/05/2003 |
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I had the most bizarre experience just a few minutes ago. I was taking another well needed walk in my neighborhoods. And let me take a moment just to explain to you how serene and peaceful these walks are. I'm away from my parents, my school, my friends, my image, my narcissim, my ego, and my insecurities. I was walking along and this cat walked by me and I ignored it, being the anti pet person that I am. Then later as I'm on the other side of the culvesac [sorry sp] this cat comes walking straight towards me. And for some pecuilar reason I just found so much compassion in me for this orange and white cat. It didn't purr or do the typial meow, but it sounded like it was quacking almost. Now I know nothing of cats, but is that normal? Anyways, this cat just started circling me and getting it's white hair all over my black pants and I just find that so symbolic because recently I've been searching for something pure to attempt to cover my personal evil. So I decide I enjoy the company of this cat and I end up petting it and the cat ends up laying on the cement. And I kneel down next to the cat and the cat just rolls back and forth for a good five minutes around this newspaper continuning with the duck sounds. And gets up everytime I show signs of getting up. I start to walk away feeling renewed and the cat follows me and I look back with a smile because how often to cats follow me right? So then I start walking back, constantly looking back to see it there and occasionally have to make that kiss noise to keep it from getting distracted. But then I don't know what happenend but we just seemed to drift. I looked back and the cat was a lot farther now and he wasn't following me anymore. And I felt so hopeless because it seems like I can never keep anything/anyone interested in me for too long. So I continue walking, thinking to myself how silly I am and how I'm superior to this stupid cat and after I'm a good ten houses away from the cat I look back and it's gone.
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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| i think you're young without youth... |
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| 05:34pm 24/05/2003 |
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Short angry lj entry as follows:
I think Interpol was made to come on earth and upset me. Good lord will I ever see them? I mean seriously, this is getting depressing, how many times have they come to LA and I not been able to see them? How many? Well let me tell you!
*The Henry Fonda Theatre [twice]
*Coachella [2nd day]
*Festival in Reno [they cancelled it]
*San Diego
And now Carlos is dj-ing at Bang on June 14th with the rest of the band and can I go? Fucking no because I'm not 18. Which brings me to my next points: I need a fake i.d. and I really should be 18. I mean a couple years older and I could legally continue my addiction to nicotine and move out and vote and you know etc etc. Grrr. Megan said she wanted to get fake i.d.'s, I think we should. It's not even like we want to use them to get drugs or drinks. We're not even into that stuff...that much. Hell, we're just two girls looking to dance around to good music with good people. Now let me ask you, is that so much to ask?
all.my.affection.
christina t. |
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anywherebuthb's journal